When we're young, everyone tells us that it's all "Grow up, get a job, get married, buy a house, have kids" & that's it. The truth is, the world is so much stranger than that. It's so much darker, & so much madder, & so much better.
Fortunately I was born in an age where the unimaginable is possible. We can accomplish anything we put our minds to if we put forth the necessary effort, & our minds are the most powerful tools in the universe. We learn to make something of absolutely nothing. We are capable of creating whole worlds using our imaginations, & that makes us a danger to ourselves as well as everyone we surround ourselves with.
There are a few that have learned to control their minds, & some who have learned to control others. Thankfully, I've learned to block out those who aren't permitted to enter the dark corners of my mind & unlock my secrets, but I don't seem to realize when I'm entering the minds of others. It just happens when I least expect it, & it frightens me. I've found some terrible things in the minds of those I thought I knew & could trust... things I wish I could forget.
I just wish there were some way to control it. I can control the minds of others to a certain extent, but I can't control my own. How pathetic is that? Rebecca is getting under my skin again. Shaun used to hold her back, & now she knows that he's my biggest weakness, she delights in torturing me even more. She's pushing my limits, & breaking me down. I can't take it anymore. I just wish things were the way they used to be. I wish I'd never created such a terrible monster, & I wish that there were still some beauty in the sunlight, but even when it shines I can't help but retreat into the shadows.
I'm afraid of hurting Taylor the way I hurt Shaun... the way I hurt Kayla. Rebecca doesn't seem to see Cass as much of a threat, or Nate. She doesn't even feel the need to show herself around them, & when she's on the edge I'll just shrug it off as sex twitches... but I can tell the difference. The energy around me is different, & the wind blows a little colder. The nightmares are getting worse, & I'm starting to fear myself. I can't be alone at night, because that's when the monsters under my bed comes out & play inside my head.
Everything I'm Not Made Me Everything I Am
i love this passage baby girl and the reason rebecca wont come out with me is cause she is scared of me because im not scared of her i can look her in the eye and tell her to go and not come back. she turns and runs when i am around cause she knows she has another thing coming if she messes with you while im around and i wont stand for ir like i said before im your protecter and will always keep you from harm and rebecca i love you lea your my bestfriend and could never ask for a better one you r my closest and most trusted friend
ReplyDeleteSENCERLY- Cass Robb
You don't know Rebecca. You don't really know me. I don't know why you try.
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